Emerging from a Difficult Period

It has been a slow process, but I am gradually coming out of this down moment. I am proud of myself for making progress, even though I acknowledge that I could have done better in some ways. I accept the win that I didn’t shut everyone out this time and managed to pull myself through faster than I usually do.

Support from a Friend

Two days ago, I went out with a friend. We went shopping and had lunch together, which allowed me to catch up and temporarily forget about my worries. She is very good at keeping the conversation flowing, making it easier for me to engage, and I welcome that wholeheartedly. She has always been supportive, knowing when to let me vent and when to keep things moving. She is my constant; although we don’t talk every day like we did when we were younger, we always pick up right where we left off, no matter how much time passes. I truly love her and appreciate her understanding of my struggles. Everyone deserves a friend like her.

She is the friend I trust with all my secrets, knowing they are safe with her. When someone makes a remark about my thick thighs and it makes me feel bad, I consider dieting, but she will come right over and take me for ice cream instead, reminding me that I don’t need to listen to others. I am not a big woman; most of my weight is in my lower half—a blessing and a curse. I fill out jeans nicely, but the size rarely goes down, no matter how much weight I lose. Regardless, I am actually fine with how I look, though sometimes others make comments. One person who used to make remarks has now said they wish they had my lower half, not exactly an apology, but since they aren’t good at saying sorry, I will take it.

Managing Mental Health

On another note, I have started new depression medication and hope that it will help more effectively. My sleep has also improved somewhat. I have another doctor’s appointment coming up, where they will test for a few other things to see if we can get these down moments under control.

Processing Grief and the Past

I still have a few topics to address from my past, especially a few deaths that I need to work through. I am trying to take my time and not overwhelm myself. All the losses have shaped who I am now, but two of them are particularly hard to face, so until I am fully out of this down moment, I will steer clear of them. I honestly believe that’s the best approach for now.

Final Thoughts

As always, these are my silent cries behind a very slow rising smile.